LIFE LESSONS I HAVE PICKED ALONG THE WAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Fall in Love with the Process of Becoming the Best Version of Yourself. In the many years—or not so many years—of my existence, there are a few principles I have lived by and continue to embrace. First, let me say, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to me! Welcome to the first blog of the year, or as I would have said as a child, "Sit down, relax, and enjoy a good read."

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my birthday. Some years, I wish it could pass as a normal day, devoid of fuss and attention. Most of these years, I find myself crying anyway. Being born in January feels like both a challenge and a blessing. Everyone’s financial reserves are depleted after December’s festivities, and January becomes the month of cabbage and frugality. Yet, other years, my birthday has been a beacon of joy, and much of that changed when I met Brenda, Joy, Rayna, Tiffany, and Stephanie. These incredible ladies taught me to truly cherish my special day.

But this blog isn’t about my love-hate relationship with birthdays. It’s about the life lessons I’ve gathered along the way—lessons that I hope resonate with you as you embark on your own journey of growth.

STRONG

Lower Your Expectations

Expectations are the mother of disappointments. This truth applies to birthdays and life in general. Waiting for others to celebrate you often leads to heartbreak. Not everyone remembers, not everyone cares, and for most, it’s just another day. The exception, of course, is your parents, whose lives were forever changed on your birthday. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate waking up, eating breakfast and dinner, and the reality that God isn’t done with you yet. Rejoice in both the highs and lows of life because there are always two sides to a coin.

Speak Life into Others

If you’ve ever read The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, you might recall the second law: the law of giving and receiving. It emphasizes leaving something positive wherever you go. It’s not necessarily about material gifts—a kind word, a prayer, or even a flower can make a difference. This lesson came to me both early and late in life. I say this because as much as I think I'm grown I have a long way to go and many more lessons to learn.

I once had an uncle and aunt who told me, in simple words, that I wouldn’t amount to anything. These were people or are people I held dear, members of my first generational line, and their words cut deep. From that experience, I learned the weight of our words and the importance of breathing life into others. Making a habit of positivity ensures that goodness finds its way back to you. When you make uplifting others a habit, the universe will return the favor And yes, the third principle of success is karma—what you give comes back.

LOVE

Tell People You Love Them

Life is fleeting. You only die once, but you live every single day. Love fiercely and unapologetically. Tell your loved ones you love them, even if it makes them uncomfortable. Hug them tightly, celebrate their existence, and let them feel adored.

Love and respect your family, from your parents to your grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, and beyond. Build healthy relationships and cherish them while you have them. Be thoughtful about the future family you wish to create. This begins by releasing grudges and choosing love and unity over division.

Let your friends help you. Trust me, I’m the stubborn type who rarely asks for help, even when I’m barely keeping it together—just ask my friends! But remember, it’s a two-way street. Be there for them too. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple “Hey, how are you?” or “How are you feeling today?” to turn someone’s entire day around. Forgive those who hurt you. There’s a line in a song from Glee that says, "Be who you are, learn to forgive." Forgiveness liberates you, allowing every part of you to truly live, let go and Let God. Similarly, seek forgiveness when you’ve erred. Life humbles us all, and asking for pardon is a sign of growth and maturity. 

PLAY

Take Risks

Courage isn’t the absence of fear but the triumph over it. Write down your dreams, pray about them, and manifest them into reality. Save for the things you desire and spread your wings. As Matthew 6:26 reminds us, “Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.” If God provides for the birds and created man in His own image, why doubt that He will provide for you? Trust Him with your needs, be patient, and let Him work in His perfect timing. Start small, put in the effort, and know that He will meet you halfway. Push yourself, have faith, and believe that you are truly unstoppable.

BE BOLD

You Are Not for Everyone

You weren’t created to please everyone. What people think of you is none of your business If you’re like me and seek validation from others, relax. You are unique, and that uniqueness will not always be embraced by everyone. Show kindness, but don’t let others’ opinions dictate your worth. Some people dislike you due to their own insecurities—it’s not your job to fix that. Remember, changing someone’s mind is rare, and not every battle is worth fighting but also remember You might be the person that’s disastrously wrong.

Prioritize Yourself

Why is it so easy to prioritize others but so difficult to prioritize ourselves? You are the greatest love of your life. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, with your insecurities, and with the voices in your head. Treat yourself with the same care you extend to others. If you wouldn’t say mean things to your friend, why are you saying them to yourself? Think about it—when a friend stumbles, you offer them kindness and encouragement, not harsh criticism. You remind them of their worth, their strength, and their potential. So why should it be any different when it comes to you? You deserve the same compassion you so willingly give to others. The next time negative self-talk creeps in, pause and ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” If the answer is no, replace it with words that uplift, reassure, and motivate. Treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a friend, because after all, you’re your own lifelong companion.

LOVE CATS

 Buy yourself something nice, go on a solo date, and capture life’s beauty in photographs. Nurture your talents and step outside your comfort zone. If life becomes overwhelming, talk to someone—preferably a professional. Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching. Reserve your energy, say no when necessary but It's also important to say yes. While knowing when to say no is valuable, embracing the power of yes it can open doors you never imagined. Take on opportunities, even the ones that make you nervous. Step outside your comfort zone, challenge yourself, and face your fears head-on. Growth often begins where your comfort ends and embrace the things that bring you joy. Hey everyone! I'm Ivy, and I'm a proud musicaholic—like, if musicals were a drug, I'd be in rehab right now. I’m also obsessed with romance books and movies because apparently, I enjoy living vicariously through fictional people’s perfect love lives. Oh, and I have an ongoing love affair with my hair—making it, breaking it, fixing it...it’s a whole saga. Basically, I’m a walking playlist of chaos, love stories, and hair experiments. Nice to meet you!

PRAY

Pray Without Ceasing

Don’t make moves without praying first. I am nothing without the love of God. Talk to Him as though He’s standing right next to you. Involve Him in every decision, have unwavering faith, and trust in His timing. Like the centurion who asked Jesus to heal his servant with just a word, have faith that your prayers will be answered with just one word. Trust that God knows your story and that His timing is perfect.

SLAY

To wrap it all up: Life is a journey filled with lessons, risks, and growth. Embrace it, celebrate yourself, and trust in God’s plan for your life. Here’s to another year of learning, loving, and living fully. Happy birthday or Happy normal day to you. May the year be kind , I cannot wait to see what stories I write.